Lack of posting

I want to take the time and apologize to my faithful readers who come here for their daily dose of fashion, my input and other things.  I have been in a very bad place emotionally this whole week.  I guess most of it revolves around all of the physical pain I have been in since the trip to the emergency room and with my doctors appointment still some time away it has me VERY depressed.  The pain killers make me groggy, I am only one assignment behind in the draping class but as with all of my classes right now what I fear is I have temporarily lost my ambition.  That has NEVER happened before.  I am always so dedicated, so driven to succeed.  Not just succeed but to do it the very best I can which has meant all A's and B's for me.

Of course the pain causes me not to sleep well and most night I am sleeping in the lazy boy because to lay flat in bed is excruciating beyond belief. But at the very least in the lazy boy I am not tossing and turning.  The depression right now is so bad it is hard to focus, stay motivated and just to get through what has been the shittiest 2 weeks of my life.

I feel so afraid they will not find what is wrong, or won't try to and just want to medicate me out of my mind.  Which in the frame of mind I am in right now is not such a bad thing.  I am sure I will snap out of it sooner or later but for now I feel VERY alone, very afraid and very over the whole fucking mess.  I guess I am asking for you to keep me in your thoughts as I go through this and if you want drop me a line.  Hell at this point a surprise from my Amazon Wish list would even be nice even though I have a stack of like 20 books at the side of my bed as it is.